Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize