Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
