You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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