If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
