Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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