and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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