Pappa wants mamma naked
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
