Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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