do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
