I am in a vortex of obligation.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
