C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
