so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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