your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Randomize
