i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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