Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
