she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
