don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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