Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
