Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
