I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
