Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
