i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Please don't give away my fajitas
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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