i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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