I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
should my penis look like a turkey
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
