I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
