Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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