I understand Curling. That high.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
