You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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