So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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