apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
