Kiss
Puke
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
