Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
