The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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