i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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