my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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