my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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