i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
