No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
