Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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