So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize