I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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