I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
