My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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