Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize