dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
