Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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