i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I fill condoms, not promises.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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