on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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