I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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