By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
