Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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