this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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