The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
