OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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