In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize