You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
