I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you will always have a special place in my vag
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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