Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
