I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
