Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
