I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
