Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
